Trying to be nicer to myself

Today is the last day of my 32nd year on the planet. As someone with a mid-January birthday, I particularly hate how January is assigned to be the hate-yourself-and-vow-to-change-everything-about-yourself-in-a-punitive-way month. Rather than futile and harmful diet and gym plans, I’m trying to be nicer to myself and less viciously self-critical about my appearance.

It’s hard though when you live in a society that actively wants you to hate your appearance. As a woman you constantly receive the message that the only thing that matters about you is your appearance, and it isn’t good enough, and will never be good enough. I try my best to avoid harmful media, whether it be traditional or online, but it’s a constant onslaught, and you’d have to be a hermit in a cave to avoid it completely.

I was going to write a lot more in-depth about the topic and was drafting and thinking about things all afternoon, but it was just exhausting and made me feel really sad, and I ended up deleting it all, especially as it was stirring up memories of some horrible, horrible things men have said to me over the years (such as “you are so horribly overweight, I’m embarrassed to be seen with you in the street” when I was the same weight I am now).

So yeah, I guess all I’ll say is be nice to others, and try to be nicer to yourself, despite the onslaught of messages telling you not to be.