There Are No More Art Museums to Guard

Two 24 page 1/​4 sized perz­ines on purple paper about work­ing in Museums. Avail­able for £3.50 here in the shop. UK post­age free, inter­na­tion­al calcu­lated by weight.

Categorised as Zines


I used to work at Hamp­ton Court. This is a mark­er draw­ing of some of the trees in the gardens there. I earnt a pittance, worked every single week­end for six months, and wore a terrible poly­es­ter uniform. I got very used to being surroun­ded by incred­ible splend­our though, and spent quite a lot of happy hours mind­ing the maze, sitting in a shed read­ing long Russi­an books, listen­ing to whatever mellow music wouldn’t annoy tour­ists (lots of Elli­ot Smith, Fleet­wood Mac, Tortoise and Grandaddy), and making up lies about the maze to tour­ists. (I wrote about being in charge of the maze in issue 22 of my zine). I also used to get a good amount of free glasses of Pimms too from jugs that were left over from the outside bar.

Red Lead & Choler­ic Humours


In the days when I worked at Hamp­ton Court I got to go to quite a few of their special events. They had a roster of actors who could portray the vari­ous monarchs who had lived at the palace (and two Henry VIIIs) and would do special days with re-enact­ments based on vari­ous time peri­ods or themes. On one of the days they had a day based on science in the time of Charles II. I found some photos when I was tidy­ing up the computer the other day.

The Embark­a­tion at Dover (1520s)

Here’s some photos of a paint­ing I like. It shows Henry VIII setting sail for the Field of the Cloth of Gold for his swank-off with Fran­cis I. The pictures aren’t the greatest, a tripod and polar­iser would improve them greatly, but you can still see all the details.